Just when everything was getting fixed and falling into place one thing fucks it all up, that one thing being something very important to me.

I never win.

I never write in here anymore because I never have time to do anything. I finally quit working at Big D's it sucked and I made no money and I started two new jobs in the same week. Got hired at Flaming Amys and got hired at North College Road Animal Hospital, which I am way more stoked on. This whole week has been non stop all week working everyday, sometimes both places in one day and trying to figure out all my bills and living situation.

On top of Maggie moving out on us, we decided to be good friends and let Danny and Dan stay with us for a month since they had no where else to go with the request of them spliting Maggies rent (only $130 each) to help us pay for the rent, mind you they don't have any other bills to pay except cell phone.. but no a month goes by and they keep telling us they might be able to then finally one day they say 'nope, don't want to help.. helping you guys by giving you $130 will set us back from being able to put a deposit down somewhere else.' So when I kick them both out where does that money go that would set them sooo far back? To tattoos. Shitty fucking ugly ass tattoos. Fuck them. Fuck every single selfish person I thought was my friend. I'm done with every single person in this town except for CJ and Todd.. CJ and I both think Richmond looks pretty good in the near future.

And aside from all the shitty people I've surounded myself with the past 4 years Madeline goes out of town all week and I get a bill from the office saying we owe $1,233 in rent. Hmmm... our rent is only suppose to be $819. Guess I shouldn't have let someone else deal with my money and the bills because that has to be paid by oh, tomorrow and Madeline is still out of town. Anddddd we have to be out in a little over a month with no new places in mind..guess it's a good thing I'm finally gonna be making money.

Sav came home for like 3 days this past week.. I wish I could have spent more time with her but I'm going up there to stay real soon. Yesterday was CJ and I's 6 month. A 1/2 year already? Time use to drag by before. We went and saw The Hangover.. funniest movie I've seen in a while. He's getting a job in Wilmington and just moving in with me permanetly.. he might as well we've already lived together for the past 6 months, I've never said this about anyone before but I am going to marry that boy one day.

I'm sitting in court right now because out of like 80 other people that got summonds to be there I was one of the 12 that got picked to be on jury. Sortof interesting I suppose but sitting here 9-5 is miserable and I guess my case is going for the rest of the week.

I'm suppose to be on my way to Richmond today to stay with Savannah but this court shit and having to feed my dogs while my parents go out of town fucked it all up for me. Not really having a best friend, sucks.

In the past few weeks I'm like 94% sure I figured out what I want to do school wise. Online was obviously a huge fail so I think I'm going back to cape fear in the fall for a few basic classes then transfering to central carolina cc because they have an actual vet tech program there. The city its in apparently sucks but at this point ill take anything to get out of Wilmington and away from the people here. Plus CJ is moving with me and he is the only person I spend my time with now anyways. Time to grow up. Wish I could say its been fun.

Swine Flu

I hope you die of it.


I'm in the weirdest mood today.
I feel like being nice and talking to everyone I haven't talked to in a while.
My room is a mess and my heart is beating so fast for some reason.
I need to shower and see my momz for mommyz day but I can't bring myself to do it.
I mish you CJ Murdock and you've only been gone for like an hour.
I thought I was in love before. Epic fail.
I now know the difference, the feeling, of just loving someone and actually being IN love.
I finally believe there is actually someone out there for everyone, you don't have to settle.
And I didn't even have to search, he was right in front of my face this whole time.
Too bad it took me so damn long to realize it.

Today has just started and it already sucks. I guess this shitty weather would be ok if I was at home sleeping with my boyfriend but of course I have to work whenever he gets into town. I was 45 minutes late for work this morning but I've made a pretty decent amount of tips for it to be breakfast time still. 3:00 can't come soon enough.

Danny and Dan got evicted last weekend so living in my tiny apartment is currently: Me, Madeline, Maggie, Dan, Danny, and Robby.Plus Josh Pitts, Josh Murdock and CJ like 5 days out of the week. So much for alone time.

Yes.

Yes, it did. You're so pathetic.


Cookout in Wilmington?
About fucking time.

Hmz...

I don't know how I always forget I have these things. I guess forgetting isn't really what it is.. I've just mainly used blogs for venting and bitching but lately I've had nothing to complain about. Other than having no money.. but I guess that's everyone's issue these days.

I've never been so content with everything going on around me. Sometimes I look for things to worry or get mad about because it seems to good to be but maybe I'm just a really negative person? Or insecure? Or out of my mind? Whatever I think to much.

Not much has changed for me really.. going to Raleigh this weekend.. still working at the same place.. hopefully getting a 2nd job real soon to make ends meet.. currently looking for a house and breaking my lease early because that apartment sucks and I refuse to be there till August.. I miss Savannah so much but I'm going to Richmond in the next week or two to help her move into her new apartment.. CJ is everything I've ever wanted and nothing less. Our 5 month is real soon.. everyone says they knew we would end up together one day but no one thought it would last.. I love being right; I'm ALWAYS right. David passed away a few weeks ago, I get so frustrated every time I think about it because I never texted him back the last time he had text me... if only I knew it'd be the last time.........
'What if's' will be the death of me one of these days. I finally started working on my ganesh tattoo.. it's beautiful and huge. It goes from my hip all the way down the side of my thigh.. almost positive my dads gonna put a bullet in my head when he sees it. I don't know when I'm gonna have the money to finish it though. Bummer.

Robby and Dan are watching Stepbrothers and it keeps taking my attention away from this so until next time.....................