keep up with this thing as much as I had hoped, mainly because I never have time to myself anymore but I'm not complaining because being alone now for the first time in really over a month is depressing to me. I've thought about a lot a lot a lot all last night and all day today, thinking is overrated, thinking just upsets me.
I wish I could make myself happy along with everyone else. I can't make my own decisions anymore without knowing it's going to piss someone off or have someone disagree with it. Funny how it's always the people closest to me that usually have a problem with my decisions when I thought they were suppose to be the ones backing me up.
I don't really care what people think about me and CJ. He's made me happier in a month than Josh ever could in almost 3 years. I've never had a boy treat me like I was actually worth something and made me feel like I'm doing just as much for him in return. He's basically lived with me for a month now and I don't go more than 2 days with out seeing him, I don't get attached very easily but it's stupid how much I miss him when I'm not with him. I hope this lasts, but we shall see. Josh is out of my life for good. I have a lot more hate for him than I knew. What a waste of time, what a waste of life. I am a god damn idiot.
3 comments:
I hope that you dont think, that I dont back you up. I just worry about you getting hurt again.
i guess your right.
we should keep up more than we do.
you know i didn't like josh for you - or for anyone for that matter. he may have been a good friend to his dudes, but he was a cheater and hurt and lied to 2 ladies that i think are pretty swell.
i'm glad you've ridded yourself of him. i hope you've taken time for your heart to heal, but i also know that sometimes healing just doesn't happen until you move on...
and i'm glad you're a mover.
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